it's all about the laughter

memories of musings

she swims up from sleep,
a deep sea diver returning
with fragments of troubled dreams,
half formed pictures of imaginings.

breaking the surface of reality,
rivlets of stories slip down her skin
leaving behind faint traces of salt that
itch beneath the surface of memory.

posted by oceangirl13 @ 12:47 AM 1 comments

me

this is my surface, my shallow self,
available for mass consumption,
portable and easy to swallow.

this is my smile, my shield,
an armor difficult to penatrate,
yet pleasing to the eye.

this is the me that i am willing to share.

posted by oceangirl13 @ 12:13 AM 1 comments

remembering

today has been a day filled with many travels, journeys into memory. i have been rummaging through my past, my childhood packed up in storage boxes, easily contained, tidy. with the opening of each container i was reunited with fragments of myself, the me that i have been and left behind. old journals, some only half finished, high school yearbooks, my baby blanket that i gently tucked around my dolls when i put them to bed, photos of friends whose names i have long since forgotten, the stuffed animals that kept me safe at night from the evil closet monster. each is a puzzle piece, put all together they form an almost complete picture of me.

the greatest discovery today: gabby, my best friend and constant companion, my cabbage patch. my uncle brought the two of us together, he thought her name perfect considering my tendency towards chattiness. we shared many an adventure together, she was (is) fearless and often encouraged me to take a deep breath, take the plunge, try something new. gabby, who is still beautiful after 22 years of seeing me through life. her legs and arms are a bit careworn from playing, hugging, and occasionally soaking up tears, yet she still smiles, still loves.

i have enjoyed this reconnecting, remembering. i am content.

posted by oceangirl13 @ 11:24 PM 0 comments

beginnings

the first step can so often be the hardest. beginning any new journey is a frightening prospect, you never know what you're going to find. anything could be hidden behind the next bend. it's takes courage to begin something new, a kind of courange that i find i sometimes lack. perhaps i can blame it on a desire for perfection; if it can't be done perfectly then why should it be done at all? or it could be that i am simply afraid of failure, if i never start then i cannot fail.

so, this is my beginning. my start on a new path, a journey of life and the color orange. now is the time for me to rediscover my voice.

posted by oceangirl13 @ 9:25 PM 1 comments